To the Editor:
The ignorance of liberal columnist Joan Ryan has achieved a new high; or perhaps a new low. In her latest article she extols the virtues of Senator Clinton because of her bravery in admitting that abortion is a “sad, tragic choice to many, many women.” Ms Ryan also contends that having multiple sex talks with teenagers regarding safe sex and pregnancy is almost useless and cites a Texas A&M study that showed an increase in sexual activity in girls, after abstinence was taught. My difficulty with Ms. Ryan lies in the fact that she neglects to discuss the “rest of the story”, only focusing on those things which serve her liberal mindset.
Many things come into play particularly when teaching teens about sex. One of the first things that comes to my mind is what we have already taught them by being permissive about what they watch on television, the music they listen to and the lies they are being fed. Teens, and often pre-teens, are watching tv shows that glamorize sex outside the marriage covenant, yet these programs rarely show the emotional havoc this kind of lifestyle creates. If a woman does become pregnant, and chooses abortion, is this kind of “reality television” given airtime? You bet not, because ignorance is part of the lie. There is also no consideration given to the effect this decision has long term on the father or mother and the guilt, shame, and depression that often follow. Teens are only getting part of the story and are making decisions based in a fantasy world of rose petal strewn beds.
After watching hours of this sort of drivel, hormones that are already charged are sent into “hyperdrive.” To enhance this, we allow music with sensuous words and romantic melodies to further their desires. Adults think it is cute when children have “girlfriends” and “boyfriends”; but take no time to think where this line of thinking ends up. Teens are sent out on a harmless “date” together, often alone as couples, and suddenly things aren’t so harmless. They are armed with megabytes of romanticized misinformation and have been sent to a breeding ground of feelings and emotions that they have no business acting upon.
It is about time people, especially parents, open their eyes to how our society is sabotaging our children’s future. Why do we allow kids to date at all? Now there’s a question that should start an uproar. Some say that we have to “give them a chance to get to know people and see what they are like.” Baloney. Anyone can put on an act for 2 hours and pretend to be anyone they choose. However, when a girl arrives home after being date raped by “Mr. Nice Guy”, everyone comes unglued and asks “what happened?” Dating is nothing but an invitation to walk on thin ice wearing cement shoes and an anvil around your neck. The repeated cycle of breaking up and dating leaves young people with emotional scars and contributes to either an inflated ego (I dumped him/her first) or poor self esteem (I got dumped, again.) This eventually culminates in years of poor choices and expecting a good outcome. Additionally, we have encouraged our children to believe that their self worth lies in whom they date. This realm of thinking implies that they somehow don’t “measure up” unless someone else physically desires them. This environment sets the stage for premarital sex, sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy. Teens are left to do as they please, and they do indeed what pleases them, often right under their parents noses (and roof.)
The answer to this problem lies not in man’s educated, humanistic, self centered thinking, but in early, sound, Biblical teaching by parents, grandparents, teachers and church leaders. Virginity should not been seen as a burden, but as a precious gift to be given only to the one we have publicly and solemnly promised to love before God. He gave us the wonderful gift of sex to be enjoyed by married couples to create life and bind a husband and wife together in a special relationship known only to one another.
Teaching our youngsters to be responsible, moral adults begins with God’s word, teaching them His truths about themselves and the world around them. It begins with the accountability each parent has before God as to how and what our children are taught. Furthermore, we should be teaching our children their individual value in God’s eyes, and how to have a personal relationship with their Creator through Jesus Christ. Our children need to become whole individuals and mature before they should become one half of a couple.
It is obvious Ms. Ryan only tells part of the story, but then that’s the part she wants to hear. We need to avoid the same mistake by not sacrificing our children on the altar of popularity, but we need to stand for what is best for them and their future, and allow God to write upon their hearts a blessed and happy ending.
Joyce A. Meyers
February 19, 2005